just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
