just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
