It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
