**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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