yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
