And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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