Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my liver is dry heaving
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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