Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
