Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
