Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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