Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
