Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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