we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
