the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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