Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
