Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
