god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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