Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
