At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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