Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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