Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
