Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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