At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
