as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
