dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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