smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
