me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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