I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
