I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
