I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
