I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
