I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
