Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
