My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
