Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
