dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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