apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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