our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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