so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
