I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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