All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
