That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
