I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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