yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
