Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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