I want to have your abortion
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
