i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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