Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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