My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
