i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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