So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
