Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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